Greetings from Washington, friends, and happy spring!
Despite the cheerful weather here in the central Cascades, the month of March has left me feeling tired. As such, I feel more than a little entitled to use a tired old cliché–this month was a true rollercoaster of emotions. Entitlement aside, though, rollercoaster doesn’t quite do my experience justice.
No, rollercoasters don’t leave you feeling battered and defeated. They don’t leave you feeling downtrodden and sad. More accurately, you might say I feel like a couch cushion (hear me out!). Yes, I’m more like the couch cushion the mischievous dog got hold of when nobody was at home, shaken violently until every last bit of stuffing had spilled out.
But enough of the vague macabre crap, here’s a more detailed look at what March has been all about.
The month of March, 2015…
…has been about looking on the bright side
Just in case you hadn’t gleaned it from my melancholy opener, I’ve been going through a minor depression this month. The passing of my grandmother got things off to a rough start; this was quickly followed by leaving Medellín unexpectedly early and saying goodbye to some people I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to. Compound all of that with the fact that Washington simply doesn’t feel like home anymore, and you’re left with a pretty sad little puppy.
In the face of all this, I’ve been doing my best to see the good in every situation. Seeing my family, despite the sad circumstances, was a blessing. Being here allows me to save up money for the upcoming chapter of travel in Spain. Hell, I’m going to Spain! There is plenty to be happy for, truly; but, as anyone who’s ever dealt with depression can tell you, the worst part about it is that you often don’t even know why you’re sad.
I’m hopeful things will start to look up in April. I do have some very exciting things to look forward to–unfortunately, patience has never been my strong suit!
…has been about family
When you’re only home for six weeks at a time, spending time with family is the top priority. Of course, the major family get-together that took place this month was the result of a heartbreaking circumstance; still, the afternoon spent with loved ones was something I was endlessly grateful for. I hadn’t seen some of my cousins in a depressing number of years, nor had I even had the chance to meet their beautiful children. After the service at a local church, we spent plenty of time catching up while enjoying an incredible slide show that had been put together in celebration of my grandmother’s life. By the end of the day, smiles outnumbered tears and we all promised not to let so much time pass before our next gathering.
…has been about letting go
I’ve done a lot of letting go this March. Letting go of a loved one, letting go of plans, letting go (or at least loosening my death grip) of the idea that I can control things outside of myself. Letting go of emotions like fear, anger, and regret. Letting go of people that were never really mine to begin with. Letting go has a lot in common with saying goodbye; well, we know perfectly well I’m no good at the latter, and this month has brought to my attention that I’m pretty terrible at the former, as well. As with most parts of my life, it’s a work in progress.
…has been about holding onto my sanity
In an effort not to be completely overwhelmed by the weight of the tasks I feel I need to accomplish before hitting the road again, I’ve been making a concerted effort in the last few weeks to step away from my laptop and do things that remind me the outside world still exists. This has included domestic activities like baking (I have an oven again!), outdoor expeditions on nearby hiking trails, and adult responsibilities like filing taxes, getting a proper haircut and ordering a new pair of prescription glasses. Having my furry friends around to snuggle with has been pretty nice, too. Exciting stuff around here, guys!
…has been about planning for the future
As I mentioned, some pretty exciting things are on the horizon. And, as usual, the way things are panning out is a far cry from my original idea when I decided to head to Europe, but in a fabulous way. I won’t reveal any details just yet…you’ll just have to keep reading to find out where I’m headed! As more things become certain (flights and other travel dates, for instance) I’ll be sure to let you know.
Cheers to the end of a terrible month…onward and upward! How did March pan out for you?
