I’m sure you’ve all read the shocking headline making waves in the travel community recently.
“Argentine Girls Murdered in Ecuador”
I’m certainly not the first to write on the topic or come to the defense of solo female travel and I’m sure I won’t be the last, but it’s something that’s been eating away at me lately and I felt I ought to contribute a few of my own thoughts to the conversation at hand.
First, I’ll reiterate the truth that so many others have already spoken: these women are not to blame.
The most poignant response to the victim blaming that ensued in the wake of this crime came in the form of a Facebook post written from the perspective of the two deceased girls. It begins with the words “Ayer, me mataron” (Yesterday, I was killed). If you haven’t yet read it, I urge you to do so now. It brings to light all the glaring problems with the victim blaming mentality, and it’s worth a read.
I also want to take a moment to absolve another entity of the blame for this senseless act: the small seaside community of Montañita, Ecuador. Thankfully, I’m not the first one to come to Montañita’s defense, either (just search for the hashtag #MontanitaNoTieneLaCulpa), but it’s a common knee-jerk reaction to fear the place where bad things have happened, as we’ve seen so many times this year following tragedies in such popular destinations as Paris, Istanbul, and Bangkok. But Ecuador is not to blame, just as Paris, Istanbul and Bangkok were not to blame for the violence that befell them. Ecuador is no less safe now than it was just a week ago, and staying away from it won’t guarantee our safety.
It’s simply another attempt to place blame, to create order where there is none, to give ourselves the peace of mind that our choices–not to travel alone, not to travel to Ecuador, not to allow the women we love to travel without a man–ultimately keep bad things from happening.
We want so badly to believe that bad things only happen to those who somehow deserve it, that their choices put them in harm’s way. I wish just as much as the next person that this were the case. But since we all know better, perhaps it’s time to elevate the conversation.
Perhaps it’s time to confront problems like violence against women at the source rather than accepting them as facts of life. Rather than throwing our hands up and saying “Well, THIS problem’s never going away, we might as well just learn to deal with it!” perhaps we should work together to think of ways to eliminate it. Like promoting a culture of non-violence in schools and teaching non-violent conflict resolution. Educating young people on the true meaning of consent. Adopting a zero-tolerance stance on sexual harassment in the workplace with uniform enforcement of discipline. Far too often, perpetrators of violence against women get away with it, and as I’m learning lately, the problem is far more pervasive in our society than I once believed.
Women who travel solo are not the problem. Ecuador is not the problem. The widespread lack of respect for women is precisely the problem.
Will I continue to travel solo? Without question. Would I still travel to Ecuador in light of this news? Absolutely.
Will I sit idly by while women are blamed for the bad things that happen to them? Hell no.
Women are only going to travel more and more as time goes on and the world becomes more connected. Rather than fear mongering and scaring them away from their dreams of traveling, we need to refocus our energy and take a preventative approach to safety rather than a defensive one.
To all the women out there who travel solo or who dream of someday traveling solo, help me in keeping the dream alive. If we cower away from it now, we are handing over a victory to the abusers, the predators, and the murderers, giving them the power they so desire.
We won’t be held down. We won’t be kept from traveling. We won’t live our lives in fear.
